Cheese Horoscopes

Cheese Horoscopes

At some point or another you’ve found yourself on the receiving end of the questions “What’s your sign?” Wether it be from a potential love interest or when someone cuts you off mid sentence to guess based on some habits they’ve picked up on. Sometimes this leads to flattery but other times, a little bit of disbelief or offence. Either way, the matched qualities to the time you were born to the way the planets are aligned, might go a little bit over your head. But one thing we know for sure, all of that is linked to the cheese that accompanies your sign and you can be sure this won’t disappoint.

Aries: March 21st – April 20th

Starting off strong with Aries who find themselves bold, adventurous and versatile to adapt in different situations. They say that Aries are open to life’s possibilities and look for opportunities to throw themselves in the ring of scenarios they might not always be meant for. If you haven’t already guessed, Cheddar is the pairing of those with the Aries sign, also bold and unique and can be used so many ways. A classic grilled cheese we all can appreciate and seems to hit the spot every time. Cheddar can be sharp on its own, blended with other cheese, cold and cubed, melted and hot, added to so many recipes- the list really does go on for versatility. 

Taurus: April 21st – May 20th

Taurus like the finer things in life, they appreciate luxurious experiences with all the fixings. With that, they also appreciate the value of these nice things and want quality to stand the test of time in what they get for themselves. Manchego is the same, a luxury cheese that has taken time to age and prepare itself to elevate an experience. Not on every dish or tray you see but when it is, you know you can’t pass up the opportunity. Buttery rich texture with a salty flavour, the perfect accompaniment to so many things. Similar to the aging of Manchego, when you warm up to a Taurus you will see that they are dependable and dedicated.

Gemini: May 21st – June 20th

Curious and inquisitive, both leading characteristics of Geminis and how I feel when someone mentions feta. A side to show the world and a side to keep hidden, feta cheese made the poor choice of being labeled as the sprinkling on a greek salad or in its crumbed and intense flavour state. Much like Geminis, there’s so much more than the layer we see and often it takes some pushing or experimenting to get this side to show. Sometimes it will come in ways we least expect, blended into a dip or on a pizza- now that’s the feta I’m talking about! Much like feta, a Gemini will changed based on its surroundings and this will determine the side you see of them.

Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd

Havarti – buttery and sweet, wears heart on the sleeve, rich and creamy in flavour. Sharpness depends on temperament, building a safe space is important like the trust havarti has to build for people to enjoy it. Havarti and cancers range from sweet to VERY sweet and softens up quickly when comfortable. With all this to say, cancers can also be temperamental and spiteful, which like havarti can sometimes be acidic and have a surprising sharp or nutty flavour. Placing high value on where it is being added to and how it will blend, similar to a cancer relying on those close to them and while going to great lengths out of love, sometimes it can be too much.

Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd

Well, if it isn’t everyones favourite. Generally well liked and who people gravitate towards. If they aren’t the loudest in the room, they’ll find a way to be the most liked. Much like everyones favourite and universally liked cheese- Mozzarella. Knowing their audience and always finding a way to slip into any scene, both Leos and Mozzarella know that they can give the world and will take all the recognition for it. While mozzarella is so easy to eat on its own, shredded by the handful, cubed or cheese strings, Leos can stand independently and be leaders as well, without the support of others being a main priority. The only thing to watch out for is too much of a good thing- could leave you with a stomach ache.

Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd

Grounded, sensible and practical, Virgos know themselves and believe that they know best.. more times than not they do. Without being overbearing, they pay attention to detail and like to be a perfectionist. Chances are you didn’t draw the connection but the cheese of a Virgo is cream cheese. Similarly, cream cheese will find itself as a spread, a secret ingredient or guilty pleasure as a dip. Sometimes when your stuck on what to eat, a cream cheese bagel will be the answer you tried to deny yourself- but some things never miss. A dish you didn’t think could get any better gets a hint of cream cheese and just like that, you trust it in any recipe. Virgos may seem a bit demanding or fussy with these expectations but what can they say, they aren’t wrong.

Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd

Libras are known for keeping balance and harmony in their lives.They are blunt and persuasive with their presence and what they want to do for themselves and those around them. If there’s a cheese that couldn’t be more similar it has to be parmigiana. Independent but wanting to get sprinkled just about anywhere, even if you don’t think a dish needs anything else, the parmigiana will finish it off. Subtle, yet you don’t want too much of a good thing, they can fit in seamlessly or find themselves too intense for people to handle. They have charm and can connect with most, Libras and Parmigana can make themselves comfortable in almost any situation.

Scorpio: October 23rd – November 22nd

Scorpios are known for having two sides- the emotionally intelligent and tender side but also the adventurous and sharp minded side. Much like a cheese that can turn from one pallet to another- gouda. When gouda is younger it has sweet flavours and a soft texture but when aged it takes on a harder and more nutty flavour. Still identified as itself, similar to a scorpio, it knows that even through these changes of behaviour, they stay true to themselves. Gouda is a crowd pleaser, it has its own fun twist of bourbon and butterscotch tones that sometimes make people hesitant but intrigued. Like a scorpio, once you give it a chance, you’ll look for it again.

Sagittarius: November 23rd – December 21st

In love with learning new things, expanding their mind and experiences, Sagittarius are infectious good vibes and earn everything they get in return. Burrata is always up for a good risky move, throwing itself on toast, a salad, pizza or on its own, it can alter any good dish too great. Sharp and business minded, a sagittarius knows themselves and will be curious to enter any situation they put their mind too. Picture a perfectly good summer salad you’ve enjoyed for years and add in some burrata, suddenly the next level has been unlocked for how elevated it can be. Although you could toss a little burrata here, there and everywhere, like a Sagittarius you have to be careful of starting things and not finishing them with the same passion.

Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th

Ambitious, hardworking and pushing for the next best thing, capricorns don’t think about the journey, only the destination and its reward. Halloumi cheese shares the confidence in knowing that the result will always be worth the hard work. Some might not even recognize the hard work of halloumi until they ask why something tastes so good. We all know the classic mozza sticks, now imagine they could get better, using halloumi will do just that. Halloumi is deemed so good it can be grilled on a pan and eaten plain with some honey on top. The moral of both capricorns and halloumi is know your worth even if it means being stubborn to get the end goal you set after.

Aquarius: January 20th – February 19th

Forward thinking and innovative are some of the main Aquarius traits. They move at their own pace and won’t skip to anyone else’s beat. A cheese of this nature is blue cheese, not one to blend in with others or be the first to step up but on its own can be tasty. Blue cheese is best when in its true form, soft and creamy but with that a sharp and pungent flavour that you will love or hate. Aquarius are calm but resist change, they know their limits and do best when sticking to them. Some would find this frustrating but maybe it’s the best way to be, comfortable in everything you do and all that you go after. 

Pisces: February 20th – March 20th

Often immediately noted for their emotional intellect and sometimes too soft reactions, Pisces naturally compare to the oh so soft, Brie cheese. Known for being sympathetic and generous with those around them, Pisces and Brie both like to extend themselves where they can. For Brie, to go on any cracker or baguette and with a bit of honey for the sweetest bite. With that, Brie can have a hard time being completely on its own and looks for those pairings to enhance the flavour and give it security. This is much like a Pisces relying on those around them for confidence boosts and sometimes finding themselves stuck in sentiments of what could be and not what is right in front of them. 

And there you have it, a little bit of insight on how cheese has a lot to do with your horoscope. Maybe you should be considering what to add to your next spread or snack because it could say a lot about you!

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